Even before I could ask what had brought her in, tears began streaming down her face, uncontrollably. I waited quietly, giving her space—she could barely speak between the sobs. Sitting across from me was a beautiful young woman, and through her broken words, she began to share about the end of a serious four-year relationship.
In her trembling voice, she went on without any pretense, sharing all the plans they had made together — about going abroad, building a life, buying a house. In short, the future they had dreamed of living together. After several intense minutes, she looked up and said, “I don’t know who I am without him.”
And there it was. She had invested so much in this relationship that, with the loss of that love, she had also lost a part of her own identity.
Healing would be a slow process — painfully slow — because it was clear she was broken beyond immediate repair. Her grief needed to be heard first. Validating her emotions was crucial; it removes shame and guilt, clearing the way for healing to begin. She would also need to learn how to be more forgiving toward herself — that would be the key to slowly separating her sense of self from the relationship.
These kinds of heartbreaks often disrupt our entire rhythm and daily routine. That’s why it becomes so important to rebuild it, starting with small and simple steps. Eventually, she would move past the endless “Why’s” and “What ifs” toward a quiet acceptance: “This happened. I have accepted it. Now, I need to move forward, slowly.”
The truth is, she would not feel like this forever. In times like these, it’s essential to offer genuine hope — not forced positivity — and to remind her that healing, while slow, is certain.
