I Definitely Do Not Need Therapy
“What do you mean, speak to someone?”, his wife said
“I meant speak to someone who can help us with this problem,” he replied.
Her eyes widened. “Are you suggesting that I have mental health issues?! Maybe you are the one with the problem.”
Sound familiar?
A 32-year-old man came to me referred through a friend. Life was tough as it is, he was stressed at work, money was tight, and things at home were tense. With two little daughters—one five years old, the other just six months—he felt his patience running out.
When I asked what brought him to me, his frustrating answer was:
“I’ve tried everything. Sometimes I feel she’s a psycho. She drives me mad. Ma’am, you just speak to her and make her understand.”
Like many husbands, he truly believed the problem was his wife. If only she would change, everything would be fine.
Through the course of our sessions, after speaking with them individually and together, it was clear that neither of them was “the problem.” What they were really struggling with was the way they communicated.
And honestly, don’t we all?
Communication is one of the most underrated skills in relationships. Whether it is with our spouse, our kids, or our colleagues, the way we speak, listen and react definitely affects dynamics.
In marriages especially, once you’ve been together for a few years, it’s easy to slip into assumptions:
- “She should know how hard I work to provide for this family.”
- “He should see how much I juggle with the kids and the house.”
But “should” is dangerous. It tends to put one in a comfort zone, bordering on complacency. It builds silent expectations. And when those expectations aren’t met, frustration bubbles up. The result? Arguments, distance, resentment.
The positive side is that this couple had a strong foundation—they loved each other deeply. The problem wasn’t love; it was neglect, poor communication, and the influence of too many “middlemen” in their relationship.
Once they learned to cut out outside interference, pay attention to each other, and truly talk (not just assume), things changed.
It’s not that life would suddenly be a bed of roses, free of challenges, but this experience taught them how to face struggles together. Six months down the lane, they were definitely in a far better and happier place.
